Found a few items cleaning out a unit as I swept some sunflower seeds from the patrol car seat.  Confessions of a scoundrel . . . soon to be posted here!

 

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 

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#9   -  You can keep one handgun at home, and another for when you are on the road

#8   -  If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out

#7   -  Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a back-up

#6   -  Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo

#5   -  A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space

#4   -  Handguns function normally every day of the month

#3   -  A handgun doesn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?"

#2   -  A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it

 

And , the number one reason a handgun is favored over a woman

 

#1   -  You can buy a silencer for a handgun!

 

(Sorry ladies, just couldn't resist)

 

We went downstairs from the lot to the back door and there we discovered a gopher scurrying around.  Being the animal lovers that we were, we decided to give it a home in a paper bag and that's when we lowered ourselves to scoundrels.

 

We got a tube from the records section (unseen of course) and gently poured the gopher into the tube.

 

I sneaked into records again and sent the tube down to communications and we decided to do some patroling real fast.  Not long after we heard the dispatcher asking each unit (one at a time) to 10-87 the Watch Commander (Lt. Wortman).  Soon it was our time and we did as they asked.

 

Wortman looked at us and showed us the tube.  He asked if we knew anything about it and naturally we said NO.  What did we know about any tube since we were patroling the city, making it safe.  After giving us the evil eye he told us to get out of his station and get back in the field.

 

As far as I know it was the best kept secret at the time.  This, of course, changed a few years later when I was in the Traffic Division during the day and had an opportunity to save another gopher.

 

I had just exited the station via the basement stairs and discovered another gopher that was lost.  I immediately figured that I could do something with it since I never got caught the first time.

 

I got the gopher into a brown paper bag and placed the bag and the contents on a table in the lunch room.  I then decided to do some traffic work in the field.  A short time later I heard that Goodhew was rolling to the station.  Apparently Dorothy Carey, the dispatcher, had gone into the lunch room for code-7 and saw the bag on the table.  It apparently was moving and so she opened it.

 

Hence Goodhew . . . I think that she just fainted but they took her to the hospital anyway.  BIG INVESTIGATION by Lt. Roller.  I think he had the crime lab check the bag for prints but naturally all they could find were gopher paw prints.  Never knew what happened after that.  Naturally, I heard all this after coming in from the field.

 

Amazing what happens when someone is doing police work away from the station . . . Anyway, that is the best kep secret (until now).  Hopefully the statute of limitations has run out on stupidity.